Fashion For The Pickup Artist Pt. 2

(continued from part 1)

There was about a couple of times that I did the peacocking. I did that to see if it worked because I heard that other guys were doing it.

I felt ridiculous when I went out and was totally incongruent with my personality.

But we all know that women pay attention to fashion, and like a well-dressed man.

I noticed that it was in my workout clothes or something really basic - like jeans and a tanktop that some of my best pickups occurred.

At the same time, I'd see muscled-up guys wearing revealing spandex, or super-tight shirts at the club, and women definitely did not respond well to this.

This got me thinking...maybe it's not how much the clothes cost, or how flashy they are...

Maybe there's something else going on.

Actually, there are two things going on, and you must manage and balance these two things.

First, avoid seeking approval from women. You are toast, if a woman can tell you that you are trying to impress her and make her like you.

Women will see you coming a mile a way and put up their defenses if you look like you got dressed with the intention of getting their attention.

You DON'T have to look like a pick up artist.

It's better to dress modestly, and not put too much thought into it.

However, you need to present yourself in the best way you can and not to look sloppy.

This comes back to self-expression.

You now have sense what kind of guy you are, what your "scene" is, what you think is cool.

Never change that.

Instead, develop it, with these simple tweaks.

Wear colors that appeal to your skin tone and hair color. This isn't rocket science. Go to an upscale men's clothing store, and ask someone about this. Or look online.

Next is to make sure that your clothes are clean, wrinkle free and reasonably updated. A woman will not worry about bringing you around her friends.

Lastly, make sure your clothes fit well, meaning, they ACCENTUATE YOUR MASCULINE PHYSIQUE.

Square your shoulders and wear shirts that narrow your waist.

Put on a pants that make your legs look long and thin.

Wear shoes that make your feet look big and well-formed.

Groom yourself - nose, neck, and ear hairs. Get a decent haircut. Shave, or don't, but figure out what looks best and take it all the way.

One other thing...

Accessories should adhere off you loosely, and have a look of a small decoration that says, "yeah, I can fuck."

Make out for your intuition with this one. I don't want to say too much because that's a whole other topic.

Fashion For The Pickup Artist Pt. 1

I am NOT a very fashionable type of guy.

Usually the one who pick out clothes for me is my girlfriend - not for MY benefits...

... so that she doesn't feel ashamed if we go together to the public!

If it were me to pick the clothes, I'd wear a sweats and T-shirt all day, together with an old worn sneakers. It means that I think a fashion as silly.

I can absolutely appreciate the aspect of design and style of fashion. When I looked at the able-bodied dressed woman, her outfits is like of art, and I dig that.

But when a man is "too stylish" I kinda lose respect for him.

Don't get it wrong, a guy should present himself like he means to be taken seriously. A good quality, nice and well-fitting clothes are a fundamental to masculine expression.

But some men take it too far.

The case is, the obsession with "peacocking" in the pickup Community for the past several years.

Hearing that words makes me cringe.

YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK.

If you don't know what "peacocking" is, let me explain it to you.

A while ago, there was an emergence of routine-based "game," relying heavily on superficial techniques, status games, and over-analysis of social interactions.

I didn't see the value of any of this, and have always gone in the opposite direction.

Major reason is I saw how pretending to be someone other than yourself, and it JUST FELT WRONG saying the routines and joke that the other guys came up with.

The PRIMARY FOCUS of all these strategy and game-playing was to visibly get approval from women, but making them feel insecure and they'd think you were cooler than them.

Think of this bullshit layers in the approach to dating. Not only are you faking your personality because you

a) seek approval (as if women has an authority on what makes man a man)

b) keep the fact that you're seeking approval

c) play games that will make women feel insecure so that they will try to seek your approval

YUCK

To dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so that women would "notice" you and want to talk to you is a kind of "peacock,". And "peacock" is one of the main techniques in approaching women.

Now there's nothing wrong with wearing a nice watch, or a necklace that has some personal meaning.

I don't want women to like me because of that.

I'm pretty sure a lot of men has seen this approach on TV shows, straining to make sense out of this hare-brained "technique."

It's sad to say that some students of other pickup schools that I've encountered, were not only nervous, misdirected, clumsy, they looked RETARDED.

So I want to make a direct proof when it comes to fashion and approaching women.

There are few pieces of things you need to pay attention to when it comes to your physical looks.

After you have handled this stuff, you should place it out of your mind, and that you shouldn't wait for women to notice you before TAKING AN ACTION.

Before we move on, I have a secret that has to reveal.

(Continued in Part 2)

Part III of Story Telling Techniques

Today I will be sharing with you the part III of the story telling techniques. And this technique is about adding TOUCH to your stories.

This technique is very powerful and ties back into displaying your personality and bringing your characters to life. And this really helps paint the picture and get your audience more involved.

As an example for this would be like "My friend and I were walking over there like this... (lock arm in arm)."

When you are using like this arm and arm example, you would only do it for that short instance, not tell the rest of the story arm and arm. And when you do the touching, only hold whatever touch you are displaying for the appropriate part of the story. If you are using something like the arm a

An example I would use in my story is when describing his weirdness would be "I would be talking with some of my friends and he would come up from behind me, stick his arm around me like this (put arm on girls shoulder and pull her in, give her a little shake, showing exactly what he did to me).

Continue telling your story while initiating the touch, and not looking at where you are touching or pausing and waiting for any form of reaction. That is the key for you not to look obvious

Another fun thing to sprinkle into your stories is subtle hints that raise your desirability. It can essentially be a tasteful ways to brag in your stories... without actually bragging.

These include mentioning other women in your life, having special social privileges, being the leader of your group, and doing things that make you stand out.

Now you really don't need these much but in some cases it can add a special flare to your stories.

Actually I often mentioning other women in my stories. You can do this by changing the word "friend" to "girlfriend" or name dropping by saying "my friends Lisa and Sarah" anything along those lines.

They need to be subtle and never the focus of your story. They are just minor details.

To make them theme authentic, do not provide an explanation for them. If part of your story involves you hooking up with multiple people, don't provide an explanation for it, instead just keep talking, it's not the focus on the story and by not providing an explanation, it comes off as a perfectly natural thing that is no big deal.

Be sure to eliminate redundancies and all unnecessary content and make sure your story is moving along and does not drag out. That is the biggest problem people make, they drag their stories out too long about things that don't affect the overall story.

For now...you should be aiming for about 2 mins stories.

How much you share all depends on the skills that you have develop in your storytelling. A masterful storyteller could capture the attention of the audience for 20 minutes. But for now, focus on getting 2-3 solid minutes of your audiences attention.

Always make sure you are keeping eye contact, this will help hold the audiences attention and remember to look for clues of people fading out so you know when to speed things up and get to the punch line.

Looking back at the original example of...

"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."

Now you can see the dramatic changes these steps can make to any story.

Here is the FINAL revised version of my story. Enjoy:

Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"

Group: "blah blah"

Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo, you ever been? (Check in point)...Cool, anyway I walk in with a group of my friend Lisa and some friends she brought along. There is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people.

Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this annoying vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone just clearly does not belong and seems out of place... kind of like that guy (Put arm on person from audiences shoulder and point to someone else outside the audience)

So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...like you have no idea how bad it was, I would be talking to some of Lisa's friends and he would come up, stick his head between us and wrap us both in his arms and give us a little shake like this...(Do exactly what he did on them) And the worst part is he had this nasty...thick breath....oh it was terrible.

(Random Story Telling Tip: Appeal to the senses, especially the smell, it is the least addressed and most memorable.) Anyway... my friends and I try to get away by going to the VIP floor and we have been drinking the free energy drinks all night and made a super tall pyramid out of cans. (Illustrate structure with arms).

Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table... and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line)

Little did he know... that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened... it was full... so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch!

(Create dramatic spill scene around your crotch, getting the girl to look there, although sneaky, creates lots of subtle sensual messages)

It looked like he wet his pants!

His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again... I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious!

(Share a good laugh with your audience, initiate more touch if you so please, initiating touch during laughter is very powerful)

Before I end this oh so long newsletter....I want to leave you with a couple advanced story telling tips.

- Do not memorize your stories. You don't want to sound like you are reading from a script, you want it to seem natural. It is possible to be too good at telling your stories and then it is almost like the listener is watching a scripted play. Just understand the concepts and events of your story, there should always be some slight differences when you tell your story. Practice telling it...but don't become a scripted narrator.

- If you are telling the same story, increase vocabulary in it, use powerful verbs and adjectives to bring the story to life.

- Start your stories at the end. If you ever saw the movie Fight Club you will notice how you are caught up into the story right from the beginning because you are curious to see how Edward Norton's character got himself in such a dangerous situation. You can start your story at the end then build up to really captivate your audience.

- The more emotion you put into a story the better, the more emotion you show in a story, the more mistakes you can make because your emotion and commitment to the story covers all that up.

- Avoid pauses like "ummmm and ugghhh" everyone has a bad habit when they stumble in there stories.

- Always be painting a picture, appeal to all the senses as much as possible.

-Lastly and most important to sum things up....

“Do not tell your stories AT your audience...tell your stories TO your audience.”

Make sure they are always getting involved and as you are telling your story, keep your eyes open for cues in the interaction you do not always have time to look for. Use these cues to find what points of your stories get certain reactions, and use them to move the story along.

You pick up on different things if you are telling a story you know well, this is another way storytelling continues to improve your game.

Dating Tips for Men: Keeping the Girl

When I really started to get good, and could escalate with any woman very quickly, I think about all the women I slept with but couldn't keep around.

And it's quite sad.

So many women had the potential to be great girlfriends.

But I had my head up my ass.

...maybe that's a little harsh.

But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:

First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering
nerd. And I've never fully recovered. But I've stopped trying to recover. And
that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.

I've accepted who I am.

Sure, I like comic books and video games.

But...

Do you think women have cooler interests?

Is Myspace, shopping and getting drunk any cooler than what I'm into?

It's all relative.

What it really comes down to is self-acceptance.

A woman won't accept you if you don't accept yourself.

Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don't like yourself?

She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.

Because if you don't like yourself, you can't really like her. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who wants to date a loser?

Although it sounds easy, self-acceptance is extremely rare. How often do you hear
people say, "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

In my experience, almost NO ONE accepts themselves completely.

And I'm no exception.

The degree to which you accept yourself is the degree to which women find you
attractive, and people want to be around you.

It can be really hard to accept yourself more. Old beliefs creep in and tell you
that you are not enough, that you must be more than you are.

But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your
game becomes better.

Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after sex, after a few dates. It never stops.

Because it is you.

You are not separate from your game.

Your game IS YOU. The "game" is thedegree to which you can express who you really are.

"But I'm nervous and insecure and awkward" you might be thinking. I disagree. That's not you.

That is the distorted you.

That is you trying to come out, but your ego, your old mental habits stop you from
expressing what you really want to express.

Before I get too deep into that, I want to move on to the second reason why I
couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.

I wasn't aware of shaping.

And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape. And knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance.

In fact, it's self-acceptance, applied to others. You know what you like, and
you encourage women to be that for you.

You see, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to
a man. Men usually implicitly tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they
are better than the man.

But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.

So if you approach a woman and treat her like she's on a pedestal, she will act
accordingly.

If you approach her and treat her like she's lucky you talked to her, she'll feel that way.

Likewise, after sex, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and
nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.

We go into this heavily in our workshops. I've developed lots of ways to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.

And each woman is different. For example, I may want one woman to be just a sex partner. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what you want.

I remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.

I remember all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was to not see those women again.

But once I began to accept myself and figure out what I wanted, it all came together.

The Attraction Code is all about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, sleep with, and date.

If you're struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through
The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.

How to Manage Your Time when Meeting Women - Part 1

Dating can be your best pal.

...OR your worst adversary.

Most of the time, a man can feel like a slave

to his natural need to procreate.

Then there goes a common quote, "He thinks

with his... You know."

Well it is hard NOT think that way if you are

physically unsatisfied.

But men are also goal oriented.

We are doers, and need to achieve things and

affect the world in a positive way.

One of the biggest challenges I've personally

faced is balancing the two - my urges and

achieving my goals.

When you are single, dating can take a lot of

time. If you don't know what you're doing,

women will suck away at your time.

Before you know it, you are spending hours in

the park, feeding the birds and cuddling...

there's nothing wrong with spending a quality

time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU

DON'T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.

Goals take time, and so do women.

In fact, it's their NATURE to take up a man's

time - it's her way of getting you to invest

in her. That way there's less chance of you

leaving if she gets pregnant (this comes from

our caveman days, so to speak).

It is really tricky to manage your time with

women. You see, giving their time to women is

what most guys WANT to give. By nature men are

"givers." They like to please women, protect

them, and give them good feelings.

Men also have a urges that can completely take

over your thoughts.

Both of these things can get of you making the

most of your life, your time.

Now take a minute to ask yourself about this,

"WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?"

Now I know it wasn't about "money," or

"control over my life," or "lots of my free

time."

It was probably something like "feeling of

safety, good feelings, sexual pleasure,

excitement, relaxation, make her smile or feel

good about herself, etc."

There are two ways that I think why men have

problems with how they use their time with

women.

First, they overcompensate with other stuff -

like spending too much time or money on a

woman because they think that the gifts they

REALLY wanted to give aren't that valuable.

Second, men think that they are "getting"

something valuable when a woman spends her

time with them.

Guys was brainwash by the society to believe

that women are a prize to attain, and that

there's some inherent value in a pretty face.

It's a LIE!

The best thing is to see women for what they

are, nothing more, nothing less. They are

cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that

important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!

Now it can be really hard to break out of this

mental prison of feeling inferior to women.

Your mental habits are subtle and hard to

notice because you've been doing them for

years.

Young men are taught that their urges is

crude and silly, and that it is just a favor

that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.

There's a syndrome that I call a "doofus dad"

syndromeThere's another societal factor going

on, . In almost every TV commercial and

sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband"

is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the

mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her

superior intelligence to fix the situation.

This will bring to the idea that the time of

the women is more valuable than men because of

the perception that women are "better."

You will feel obligated to give a woman a LOT

OF TIME if your time is not so valuable.

But here's the thing - if you are giving a

woman too much time, you won't be present for

most of that time. You will be distracted,

resentful, you will give her your "half-assed"

attention.

I just realize this after analyzing lots of

dates I went on women.

After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION

to women even though I'm only giving a smaller

amounts of my time.

Not only did this make our time better, it

created MASSIVE ATTRACTION because I left

women craving more.

Now my women can't get enough of me - in fact,

I don't GIVE THEM "enough."

You see, "enough" would mean, "overexposure"

to me, and women can't be pulled to what they

already have.

The proper way to manage your time is by being

HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play

games with women and pretend to be busy or

whatever.

No need of games, just be real with the girl -

and don't spend more time that you want.

Enjoy whatever free time you have with women

but still with focus on your personal goals.

Be the man on the go.

Now in a short amount of time it requires that

you are able to meet a lot of women, which

I'll have to cover in another newsletter.

It makes me sad to see men waste their lives

chasing and "putting up with" women, and then

they are buried in their coffin ALONE.

Women aren't property that you can keep or

somehow take with you when you die. Think

about that.

You can't "keep" a woman by investing all your

time with her.

One more thing here - if you start being

honest with the amount of time you are willing

give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.

It either she will make you feel guilty or you

will feel it on your own. That's ok, it just

means that you have a weak focus.

If you are following your true ways, it will

usually from the social norm.

If you are in the mental habit of adopting the

values others try to impose onto you, you will

most likely experience some discomfort,

tension, guilt, even loneliness at first.

That's why I set and develop the Attraction

Code. It's all about self-control, finding

true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge

from within.

And no, we don't try to impose our values or

goals onto you. We think you'll be able to do

that for yourself, given the proper guidance.


Vin

Dating Tips for Men: The Attraction Code

http://www.vindicarlo.com -Vin DiCarlo has just released a new book, the Attraction Code.

You can get a free 45-Audio TeleClass introduction to The Attraction Code by visiting www.vindicarlo.com.

Dating Tips for Men, Dating Tips for Guys.

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http://www.vindicarlo.com/noflakesdvd

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