I will be talking with you a subject that can improve your conversation when meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.
This subject is none other than Storytelling. I will be sharing with you tips and secrets on how to construct a story and how to be a successful storyteller. But before that, I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth 1: Does my story have to be factual and about me?
The answer to this is up to decide whether it has to be true or fictional. The story does not have to be true. What matter in here is how you convey and apply the techniques in storytelling, how you keep the conversation fun and interesting. Once you hit the right way you will see that the conversation keep moving and leads to another topics.
Even if the women does not believe the story, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.
I'm not telling you lie because the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion. However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly constructed reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth 2: When you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
It plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)
There are many reasons storytelling is important and try to consider these following facts:
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reason why I want everyone to master storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. And with this you directly express your personality. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. Whatever expression you show in your stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
One of the most common problems that I see with many guys is they were doing great in the first few minutes of interaction and then as he goes on the conversations starts to die and there is that awkward silence. So, this is now a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
If you know that you are armed with a story plus a good techniques in conveying it, be confident in entering an interaction.
There are people who are afraid in having an interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. But by developing a great story and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes and ears are on you making you as the center of attention, and everyone lingers on whats your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike of the usual interactions, a remarkable story is unforgettable. How many times have you heard someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."
*You can express through storytelling the things that you could normally say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that can be add-up in the context of your story. But of course, these little details are never be subject of the story thus they remain subtle but adding it can be a powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Make a list anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.
If you have a funny story which you think can be humorous for the others then feel free to include that. Also you may consider adding story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
That moment can be happy, fun, or even sad but not depressing for we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually choose from it just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, moments of success, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is absolutely not the true; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. Don't be afraid to share it, Sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
Everyday of our life is a story but we may be unaware of it. Once it has been a past event and then being told, there you will realize that it was a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise 2: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
This speak about your personality. The thing that directly relates to your identity and make you who you are. I know there are lots of it... right? Just jot down those things which you would like to let others know about you. Oh, and don't be surprise these things are directly related in some of the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save this list for we are going to use it in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
Just keep an eye out for our next newsletter and be ready to take storytelling to the next level.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
How to Deal with Male Competition when Meeting Women
Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just
because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a
group of girls with one or two guys with them because you
ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with
women who were with other guys.
They think that the woman is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.
Guys shouldn't think this as a barrier of talking to a
woman. Plus - she's not a guy's "slave" or a piece of
property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses,
especially in a social situation like in the bar where
people meet other people.
You will extremely look confident if you approach more often
a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's
jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.
The other reason guys don't approach women with other men
points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that
the "other guy" is more cooler, stronger, or somehow
powerful than they are.
This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.
In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the
more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.
A guy doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as
was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.
So it's better to play safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up
dead or exiled from the game.
And then their genes were taken out of the "race" so to
speak.
So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation
usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.
The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the
basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false
assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily
avoid women.
Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to
another guy in the club or bar, she's not WITH him.
Usually, they JUST MET!
For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy
thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he
was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was
just a friend or relative.
I think of all the times I completely avoided talking to a
woman because I saw her with another guy. I regret having
missed so many opportunities. Which brings me to my first
point:
DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.
You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.
So use your head - just don't limit your options by making
false assumptions.
Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the
other guy can be more "dominant" than you are.
The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the
caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access
to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he
could beat up competitors.
But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every
man with a source of income can survive on his own - if
you're reading this, you probably have access to food and
shelter. You're all set.
Plus, in this modern world it is irrelevant to use the
physical strength just to beat people up. It's illegal.
You'll always end up losing if you attack another person
because the police always win.
If you think about it, you are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU
FOR NO REASON!
Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk
to???
It was annoying - remembering all the girls I missed out on
because I was scare about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing
that the other guys are dealing with some crap!
When you're on your deathbed, you are going to look back on
all the things you did and didn't do. How painful would it
be to say "I didn't meet that girl because I was scared of
another guy," or "there were so many beautiful women I
could've enjoyed, but I didn't even try because I saw them
TALKING to another guy."
I don't want that to be you.
So let's analyze it deeply. You truly don't understand
dominance if you are seeing the other guy as more dominant.
You see, if you're concerned with who is more dominant you
instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There's a better
focus.
You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become
dominant. And dominant men doesn't care who is more
dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it
is that they are doing or want.
So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead
of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than
you, focus on the girls.
I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to
be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know
the guy - they just meet him.
Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely
the rest know him.
It's rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating -
usually they will bring a guy who is more of a
protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable
when they go out on the town.
And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means
he's NOT with the other girls - they are fair game.
When you are concerned with who's the alpha male, you are by
definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it's questionable
whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.
Avoid some assumption, just get your focus in a USEFUL
place, and don't allow some random dude to stop you from
enjoying YOUR LIFE!
because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a
group of girls with one or two guys with them because you
ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with
women who were with other guys.
They think that the woman is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.
Guys shouldn't think this as a barrier of talking to a
woman. Plus - she's not a guy's "slave" or a piece of
property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses,
especially in a social situation like in the bar where
people meet other people.
You will extremely look confident if you approach more often
a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's
jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.
The other reason guys don't approach women with other men
points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that
the "other guy" is more cooler, stronger, or somehow
powerful than they are.
This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.
In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the
more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.
A guy doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as
was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.
So it's better to play safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up
dead or exiled from the game.
And then their genes were taken out of the "race" so to
speak.
So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation
usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.
The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the
basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false
assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily
avoid women.
Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to
another guy in the club or bar, she's not WITH him.
Usually, they JUST MET!
For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy
thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he
was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was
just a friend or relative.
I think of all the times I completely avoided talking to a
woman because I saw her with another guy. I regret having
missed so many opportunities. Which brings me to my first
point:
DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.
You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.
So use your head - just don't limit your options by making
false assumptions.
Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the
other guy can be more "dominant" than you are.
The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the
caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access
to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he
could beat up competitors.
But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every
man with a source of income can survive on his own - if
you're reading this, you probably have access to food and
shelter. You're all set.
Plus, in this modern world it is irrelevant to use the
physical strength just to beat people up. It's illegal.
You'll always end up losing if you attack another person
because the police always win.
If you think about it, you are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU
FOR NO REASON!
Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk
to???
It was annoying - remembering all the girls I missed out on
because I was scare about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing
that the other guys are dealing with some crap!
When you're on your deathbed, you are going to look back on
all the things you did and didn't do. How painful would it
be to say "I didn't meet that girl because I was scared of
another guy," or "there were so many beautiful women I
could've enjoyed, but I didn't even try because I saw them
TALKING to another guy."
I don't want that to be you.
So let's analyze it deeply. You truly don't understand
dominance if you are seeing the other guy as more dominant.
You see, if you're concerned with who is more dominant you
instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There's a better
focus.
You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become
dominant. And dominant men doesn't care who is more
dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it
is that they are doing or want.
So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead
of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than
you, focus on the girls.
I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to
be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know
the guy - they just meet him.
Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely
the rest know him.
It's rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating -
usually they will bring a guy who is more of a
protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable
when they go out on the town.
And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means
he's NOT with the other girls - they are fair game.
When you are concerned with who's the alpha male, you are by
definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it's questionable
whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.
Avoid some assumption, just get your focus in a USEFUL
place, and don't allow some random dude to stop you from
enjoying YOUR LIFE!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Is It Fun or Feel like Work Meeting Women?
Does meeting with women seems like a WORK to you?
And do you ever feel despite all your hard work you're not even closer to your goal?
READ ON if you answered YES those questions.
In fact, dating game can be quite frustrating.
You see a girl you like, but she has a boyfriend.
Everything is going smooth and fine between you and a woman and then just suddenly she's not returning or answering your calls.
Not to mention the fact that as the man you pretty much have to do everything to move things forward.
YOU have to have the courage to approach.
At first, you have to keep the conversation moving, you have to escalate physically, you have to get her number and you have to have a logistical way to take her home, YOU have to set a date.
Not to mention there are much higher standards for men's behavior than women.
(Let's not started on that...let's just say women are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they are "beautiful.")
Being not "extroverted" by nature can be pretty exhausting.
...I just had a client who often complained of "extroversion fatigue."
I used to struggle with that too that's why I knew exactly what he meant.
Before I started to teach myself about pick-up, and then found myself being mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.
What I do is to have a sit and rest!
Come to think how strange the situation is, I am supposed to have fun and relax but instead I am working harder than I was at my full time job.
I would go home absolutely dead
... from SPEAKING TO WOMEN!
Does it make sense to you???
There you see the general dating fatigue. There's an ups and downs in the emotions, results that is discouraging, in the hard work that I make just to get women to hang out with me or be in bed with me.
It was like a full time job and I was working overtime!
When I first got in this game, I literally had to force myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I admit, I was a nerd, and pushed it to the extreme.)
All I can say is that I have this passion in learning those stuff (very eager for the outcome after years of sensual frustration)
I would push myself like professional athletes push themselves in the gym.
I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS and working on my muscles that I've never done before.
If you can relate to any of this, then you are probably working too hard in your interactions with women.
There are three reasons for this.
Socially proactive is the first reason that may be new to you.
I remember the first time I started weight lifting, I don't have an upper pectoral muscles - the muscle right at the top of your chest just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.
Actually I do have a small muscle but it was so weak that I can't even feel them. So every time worked them out I was incredibly sore and could barely move my arms. And it took me three good weeks to really feel them.
And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is the same way.
It takes time to develop these new neuro-pathways on your own. If you're not pushing yourself HARD day in-day out, it can take awhile, depending on your skill level.
Thinking that meeting women requires a lot of hard work can cause a social fatigue. And that is the second reason.
It's not really so much about "fatigue" but it's more on having an overwhelmed feeling.
When you feel overwhelmed by something, it can frazzle your mind, and lead to a sort of depression, or discouragement, which may feel like exhaustion if you're not deeply aware. It's like your body is saying "ugh, it's too much work. I give up before I can even begin."
This will hinder you from doing any progress. I was in this situation when I was putting a lot of theories on my notes. And as I looked at them I've seen that I am just like looking for a huge and complex physics equation.
Doing ALL of this stuff just to had a quality women in my life was so discouraging to think.
The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn't useful to pickup.
99 percent of men gets it wrong when it comes to attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can't tell, because most men after suffering from a few harsh rejections learn to hide their inner "stuff."
But of course we can't oppose to the reality that when a guy is attracted to a girl, he is trying his best just to win her or at least know if the women likes him too.
Think about the messages we get from the media, our parents and friends, and women - it's the man's role to IMPRESS the woman and EARN sex from her.
That's Silly!
I get so mad when I see some commercial with a guy bumbling around trying to impress some cute girl, and looking like a fool while she giggles like she's better than him because she's a girl.
Ok enough ranting... the point is that most guys are screwed when it comes to being in control of their dating lives.
But if a guy takes the time to adjust the way his MIND works when it comes to attraction, it changes everything.
You need to get the most out of your body and mind so that it can lead you to the highest level of your interaction with women and that's what's really attractive.
A MAN AT HIS BEST.
And do you ever feel despite all your hard work you're not even closer to your goal?
READ ON if you answered YES those questions.
In fact, dating game can be quite frustrating.
You see a girl you like, but she has a boyfriend.
Everything is going smooth and fine between you and a woman and then just suddenly she's not returning or answering your calls.
Not to mention the fact that as the man you pretty much have to do everything to move things forward.
YOU have to have the courage to approach.
At first, you have to keep the conversation moving, you have to escalate physically, you have to get her number and you have to have a logistical way to take her home, YOU have to set a date.
Not to mention there are much higher standards for men's behavior than women.
(Let's not started on that...let's just say women are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they are "beautiful.")
Being not "extroverted" by nature can be pretty exhausting.
...I just had a client who often complained of "extroversion fatigue."
I used to struggle with that too that's why I knew exactly what he meant.
Before I started to teach myself about pick-up, and then found myself being mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.
What I do is to have a sit and rest!
Come to think how strange the situation is, I am supposed to have fun and relax but instead I am working harder than I was at my full time job.
I would go home absolutely dead
... from SPEAKING TO WOMEN!
Does it make sense to you???
There you see the general dating fatigue. There's an ups and downs in the emotions, results that is discouraging, in the hard work that I make just to get women to hang out with me or be in bed with me.
It was like a full time job and I was working overtime!
When I first got in this game, I literally had to force myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I admit, I was a nerd, and pushed it to the extreme.)
All I can say is that I have this passion in learning those stuff (very eager for the outcome after years of sensual frustration)
I would push myself like professional athletes push themselves in the gym.
I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS and working on my muscles that I've never done before.
If you can relate to any of this, then you are probably working too hard in your interactions with women.
There are three reasons for this.
Socially proactive is the first reason that may be new to you.
I remember the first time I started weight lifting, I don't have an upper pectoral muscles - the muscle right at the top of your chest just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.
Actually I do have a small muscle but it was so weak that I can't even feel them. So every time worked them out I was incredibly sore and could barely move my arms. And it took me three good weeks to really feel them.
And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is the same way.
It takes time to develop these new neuro-pathways on your own. If you're not pushing yourself HARD day in-day out, it can take awhile, depending on your skill level.
Thinking that meeting women requires a lot of hard work can cause a social fatigue. And that is the second reason.
It's not really so much about "fatigue" but it's more on having an overwhelmed feeling.
When you feel overwhelmed by something, it can frazzle your mind, and lead to a sort of depression, or discouragement, which may feel like exhaustion if you're not deeply aware. It's like your body is saying "ugh, it's too much work. I give up before I can even begin."
This will hinder you from doing any progress. I was in this situation when I was putting a lot of theories on my notes. And as I looked at them I've seen that I am just like looking for a huge and complex physics equation.
Doing ALL of this stuff just to had a quality women in my life was so discouraging to think.
The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn't useful to pickup.
99 percent of men gets it wrong when it comes to attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can't tell, because most men after suffering from a few harsh rejections learn to hide their inner "stuff."
But of course we can't oppose to the reality that when a guy is attracted to a girl, he is trying his best just to win her or at least know if the women likes him too.
Think about the messages we get from the media, our parents and friends, and women - it's the man's role to IMPRESS the woman and EARN sex from her.
That's Silly!
I get so mad when I see some commercial with a guy bumbling around trying to impress some cute girl, and looking like a fool while she giggles like she's better than him because she's a girl.
Ok enough ranting... the point is that most guys are screwed when it comes to being in control of their dating lives.
But if a guy takes the time to adjust the way his MIND works when it comes to attraction, it changes everything.
You need to get the most out of your body and mind so that it can lead you to the highest level of your interaction with women and that's what's really attractive.
A MAN AT HIS BEST.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The Pick Up Artist and One Night Stands
Let me share with you the topic about One Night Stand
Before I don't really know how to do the one night stands, and I started to understand how easy it is to apply after I have used a couple of solid pickups.
"Bad belief overhaul" is what I can say when I look back on those things that I did.
I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in bed.
Even though I know that I am not that good looking like other men, I started to think that I was that too attractive and desirable to woman
Now about 75% of my students come to me with one main goal - they want to sleep with more women.
While the others have the aim to find their someone special but I don't think these aim are mutually exclusive.
Because if you are looking for a special girl, you have meet a lot of women so that you determine and pick the best choice.
It would be impossible to meet your someone special if you don't socialize and meet with a bunch of good women.
Getting started is a common phase that a good pickup artist needs to go through. In order to meet and sleep with LOT OF WOMEN, he should learn to think and behave in a new ways.
He's like a kid in a candy store, taking full advantage of his new powers!
This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman want to sleep with me.
So it's important that you have a few really fast, casual sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on forming new beliefs.
I'm telling about a same day lays or a one-night stand.
Having a one-night 'stands at-will' can seem just as out-of-reach as having a great girlfriend. So if you never had a one night stand, you might be considering about it.
But it's actually pretty easy, if you know what you are doing.
The crappy thing is, a lot of guys make it WAY too hard on themselves, and never get those initial sexual experiences that help them to really feel like a "natural."
If you're reading this, then you are interested in getting not only BETTER with woman, but you want to MASTER THE GAME.
Mastery comes from within - it starts with a mindset, and leads to external results, which then form NEW BELIEFS in your mind.
Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy lines and routines.
First of all, you can't always get the hottest woman in the venue to go home with you for a one-night stand.
You can get a solid number from her, but its not a guarantee that you can take her home because whether or not a woman is open to going home with a guy, it varies widely in particular night.
However, there are LOTS of horny women moving around the clubs and bar anytime of the day that are open in getting lay that same day or night. And all you have to do is have a knowledge and ability to spot them.
The things that I look in spotting them are in the way how they dressed, how much make-up they put on their face and other things that relates to how they look physically. Remember that there is a reason why women exert a lot of effort in order to look beautiful.
The general reason is that women wants an attention and be approach. Although this isn't always be the reason but a a lot of time it is the case.
You will also know that a woman is seeking attention when she is so loud, hyper and animated.
Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking around the room more than the other girls that she's with. Also a group of two or three women all standing around with blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.
These are what women do in order for someone to notice and approach them.
Now when you approach, take it easy - don't go in full-steam running your clever routines and your cocky frame control stuff.
A simple "hey, you guys look great tonight. Special occasion?" is enough. It's just have to be social, delicate and showing that you are interested in meeting them.
The key here is not to openly discuss getting in sensual or that you are looking to take her home. You see, if you talk about that, you'll put her on the spot and make her agree to bang with you, implicitly.
Rather you want to build sensual tension, as we discuss heavily in our workshops.
This will be against a woman's "rules" and she'll definitely be keeping distance from you. And you really need a logistic information to know how you can get her back to your place.
So before that thing happen, you have to remove some of your overt sensual intention and try not to let her know that you are trying to pick her up.
Just enjoy yourself while escalating appropriately and have a willingness to control the situation.
Although it may seem as counter intuitive, but this is how it works.
You have to believe that women wants to have sex and a lot of women in the place wants to have a fast getting laid down.
Some won't and some will, and that is why you need to know how to spot and get them.
I know you don't what to invest a lot of your time to pick the right girl and then just mess it up after a long interaction. Or to spend your time to a wrong girl or worse.
That's a HUGE waste of time.
Before I don't really know how to do the one night stands, and I started to understand how easy it is to apply after I have used a couple of solid pickups.
"Bad belief overhaul" is what I can say when I look back on those things that I did.
I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in bed.
Even though I know that I am not that good looking like other men, I started to think that I was that too attractive and desirable to woman
Now about 75% of my students come to me with one main goal - they want to sleep with more women.
While the others have the aim to find their someone special but I don't think these aim are mutually exclusive.
Because if you are looking for a special girl, you have meet a lot of women so that you determine and pick the best choice.
It would be impossible to meet your someone special if you don't socialize and meet with a bunch of good women.
Getting started is a common phase that a good pickup artist needs to go through. In order to meet and sleep with LOT OF WOMEN, he should learn to think and behave in a new ways.
He's like a kid in a candy store, taking full advantage of his new powers!
This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman want to sleep with me.
So it's important that you have a few really fast, casual sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on forming new beliefs.
I'm telling about a same day lays or a one-night stand.
Having a one-night 'stands at-will' can seem just as out-of-reach as having a great girlfriend. So if you never had a one night stand, you might be considering about it.
But it's actually pretty easy, if you know what you are doing.
The crappy thing is, a lot of guys make it WAY too hard on themselves, and never get those initial sexual experiences that help them to really feel like a "natural."
If you're reading this, then you are interested in getting not only BETTER with woman, but you want to MASTER THE GAME.
Mastery comes from within - it starts with a mindset, and leads to external results, which then form NEW BELIEFS in your mind.
Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy lines and routines.
First of all, you can't always get the hottest woman in the venue to go home with you for a one-night stand.
You can get a solid number from her, but its not a guarantee that you can take her home because whether or not a woman is open to going home with a guy, it varies widely in particular night.
However, there are LOTS of horny women moving around the clubs and bar anytime of the day that are open in getting lay that same day or night. And all you have to do is have a knowledge and ability to spot them.
The things that I look in spotting them are in the way how they dressed, how much make-up they put on their face and other things that relates to how they look physically. Remember that there is a reason why women exert a lot of effort in order to look beautiful.
The general reason is that women wants an attention and be approach. Although this isn't always be the reason but a a lot of time it is the case.
You will also know that a woman is seeking attention when she is so loud, hyper and animated.
Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking around the room more than the other girls that she's with. Also a group of two or three women all standing around with blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.
These are what women do in order for someone to notice and approach them.
Now when you approach, take it easy - don't go in full-steam running your clever routines and your cocky frame control stuff.
A simple "hey, you guys look great tonight. Special occasion?" is enough. It's just have to be social, delicate and showing that you are interested in meeting them.
The key here is not to openly discuss getting in sensual or that you are looking to take her home. You see, if you talk about that, you'll put her on the spot and make her agree to bang with you, implicitly.
Rather you want to build sensual tension, as we discuss heavily in our workshops.
This will be against a woman's "rules" and she'll definitely be keeping distance from you. And you really need a logistic information to know how you can get her back to your place.
So before that thing happen, you have to remove some of your overt sensual intention and try not to let her know that you are trying to pick her up.
Just enjoy yourself while escalating appropriately and have a willingness to control the situation.
Although it may seem as counter intuitive, but this is how it works.
You have to believe that women wants to have sex and a lot of women in the place wants to have a fast getting laid down.
Some won't and some will, and that is why you need to know how to spot and get them.
I know you don't what to invest a lot of your time to pick the right girl and then just mess it up after a long interaction. Or to spend your time to a wrong girl or worse.
That's a HUGE waste of time.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Concept About Shaping
Let's talk about the concept called SHAPING.
There are a number of tools included in this concept that are used to set a STRONG precedent to a woman's behavior.
Before I proceed, let me ask you this:
Have you ever been with a girl that talked about how she LOVED when her boyfriend did something very specific?
Do you have a feeling of motivation to perhaps do the same thing?
-or-
Have you ever been asked by a girl you are dating, if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?
Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to IMPRESS HER?
Of course... we've all been there.
What important here is not the outcome on those situations, but only to be AWARE that you were EMOTIONALLY COMPELLED to behave in a certain way...
Whether the woman knew it or not (most likely, she DIDN'T) she was SHAPING you.
Now don't misunderstood me, this isn't necessarily a bad thing...
People do it to each other all the time.
But a lot of time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is NOT according to what you desire.
So STARTING RIGHT NOW that's what we are going to change.
There are a lot of ways on how you can start to employ shaping in your interactions with women.
And I've split them up into 5 different categories.
Now don't get me wrong.
This is a HUGE topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping alone.
For this moment I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to employ them into your interactions.
So here are the five different categories of shaping.
1. Screening questions.
Screening questions are questions specifically designed to:
A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start here to behave in a way that is more congruent with how she just answered you.
Screening questions has a different types, and most importantly you should use them in the right context.
Like for example, you wouldn't start a conversation with a woman with the question "Do you consider yourself to be independent?"... but it might come later on.
Screening questions are by far the least subtle but most OVERT out of all the shaping techniques.
They are easiest to use RIGHT away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to a woman.
2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.
This is very similar to screening questions, only that this time you are making a statement.
It's a little less obvious than screening questions, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.
Instead of saying something like "What was the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?" (which is a screening question) You might say something like "Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life."
Because you are justifying your statement with a truism (it's hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.
And because she's committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way CONSISTENT with that.
3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.
This technique, along with the next two, are VERY devious.
They are so devious, in fact, that women use them ALL THE TIME.
It's funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to know that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them NATURALLY!
Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my BEST techniques have been stolen DIRECTLY from the women I know who have the VERY BEST game.
The idea of this concept is that you will tell a story that DEMONSTRATES what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.
For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:
"One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month's copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit."
The good thing here is, it doesn't even have to be true!
(I'm not going to make a moral decision for you here, I'm sure that you're more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)
4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.
This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.
The idea here - if you see a girl doing something (for example, drinking like CRAZY while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.
Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.
Let's say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don't like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control...
You could say:
"Wow, you're so much fun! and so-free spirited. It's cool you do things you really want to do, and don't rely for others for direction. You follow your OWN desires."
By pointing out behaviors, you are REWARDING them and AMPLIFYING that same behavior in the future.
By selecting what behaviors you like about her, and calling attention of it, you are SHAPING her future behavior.
(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she'll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn't go home with you. Sneaky, but also KILLER in the field)
5. Reward calibration, like for instance. giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her 'good' behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as "good" behavior from a girl, it is to your benefit to REWARD her with something you want her to WORK for or CHASE AFTER.
This should be either affection, physicality or getting in bed, but NEVER a material or monetary. Breaking this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!
(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)
Be nice, and use these concept carefully.
There are a number of tools included in this concept that are used to set a STRONG precedent to a woman's behavior.
Before I proceed, let me ask you this:
Have you ever been with a girl that talked about how she LOVED when her boyfriend did something very specific?
Do you have a feeling of motivation to perhaps do the same thing?
-or-
Have you ever been asked by a girl you are dating, if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?
Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to IMPRESS HER?
Of course... we've all been there.
What important here is not the outcome on those situations, but only to be AWARE that you were EMOTIONALLY COMPELLED to behave in a certain way...
Whether the woman knew it or not (most likely, she DIDN'T) she was SHAPING you.
Now don't misunderstood me, this isn't necessarily a bad thing...
People do it to each other all the time.
But a lot of time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is NOT according to what you desire.
So STARTING RIGHT NOW that's what we are going to change.
There are a lot of ways on how you can start to employ shaping in your interactions with women.
And I've split them up into 5 different categories.
Now don't get me wrong.
This is a HUGE topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping alone.
For this moment I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to employ them into your interactions.
So here are the five different categories of shaping.
1. Screening questions.
Screening questions are questions specifically designed to:
A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start here to behave in a way that is more congruent with how she just answered you.
Screening questions has a different types, and most importantly you should use them in the right context.
Like for example, you wouldn't start a conversation with a woman with the question "Do you consider yourself to be independent?"... but it might come later on.
Screening questions are by far the least subtle but most OVERT out of all the shaping techniques.
They are easiest to use RIGHT away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to a woman.
2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.
This is very similar to screening questions, only that this time you are making a statement.
It's a little less obvious than screening questions, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.
Instead of saying something like "What was the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?" (which is a screening question) You might say something like "Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life."
Because you are justifying your statement with a truism (it's hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.
And because she's committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way CONSISTENT with that.
3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.
This technique, along with the next two, are VERY devious.
They are so devious, in fact, that women use them ALL THE TIME.
It's funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to know that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them NATURALLY!
Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my BEST techniques have been stolen DIRECTLY from the women I know who have the VERY BEST game.
The idea of this concept is that you will tell a story that DEMONSTRATES what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.
For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:
"One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month's copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit."
The good thing here is, it doesn't even have to be true!
(I'm not going to make a moral decision for you here, I'm sure that you're more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)
4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.
This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.
The idea here - if you see a girl doing something (for example, drinking like CRAZY while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.
Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.
Let's say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don't like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control...
You could say:
"Wow, you're so much fun! and so-free spirited. It's cool you do things you really want to do, and don't rely for others for direction. You follow your OWN desires."
By pointing out behaviors, you are REWARDING them and AMPLIFYING that same behavior in the future.
By selecting what behaviors you like about her, and calling attention of it, you are SHAPING her future behavior.
(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she'll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn't go home with you. Sneaky, but also KILLER in the field)
5. Reward calibration, like for instance. giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her 'good' behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as "good" behavior from a girl, it is to your benefit to REWARD her with something you want her to WORK for or CHASE AFTER.
This should be either affection, physicality or getting in bed, but NEVER a material or monetary. Breaking this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!
(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)
Be nice, and use these concept carefully.
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